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Family Sin

By Meg Lund

Lately, there has been a strong message to our community regarding family sin. God has been showing us that sin attaches itself to ourselves and our children through our connection to our families. The reason that we are particularly susceptible to our family's sin is because we naturally love our family members, and "faults are thin where love is thick." In other words, we are most readily able to overlook sin within our own family because we have strong bonds to them. We feel our security with our family, especially in today's rapidly changing world, and we are reluctant to upset that balance.

The striking revelation to us has been that this applies to even what many have considered to be "small" sins, probably due to being so common. Habitual watching of tv, excessive shopping, addictions, gluttony, gambling, disrespect, divorce and remarriage without annulments, and lukewarmness are the types of sin that I am referring to. Most people probably wouldn't continue to hang out with their families if their sins were of the "big" variety.. porn, murder, theft, etc. But these common and all-too-well accepted patterns of sinfulness can cause HUGE physical and spiritual suffering in those of us who "accept" these sins.

What exactly does it mean to "hate the sin but love the sinner"? If you REALLY hate the sin, will the sinner be able to bear you in their presence? If the sinner knows how much you hate the sin, and the sinner is quite attached to his sin, he will typically act out with all kinds of rage or unexplainable negative behavior towards you. In other words, he will persecute you. It's very difficult, if not impossible, to maintain a close and friendly relationship with someone who remains in a persistent state of sin when you hate that sin. Hence, it usually is not even necessary for us to make the decision to leave loved ones who stubbornly close their hearts to God, because if we firmly commit to Him they will either convert or leave us. If you truly love the sinner, you will hate the sin.

Ways in which you show that you hate the sin would be principally not engaging in the sin yourself. Not in a superior or holier than thou way, but simply, refusing to have anything to do with it. This would include not indulging in materialism for yourself even if your spouse does, not watching tv even if the rest of the family is, not engaging in arguments, refusing to have unlawful sexual relations, etc. Furthermore, you would hopefully advance in the opposite virtue. This would either drive the other parties to rage or soften their hearts to goodness, but it MUST BE DONE because the lukewarm will be spewed out. Fear of their rage or fear of having them leave you can not keep you from doing the right thing. God will take care of you, and most likely the affected person WILL be converted by your firm and loving example of holiness. If you are the one that was given the grace of conversion in your family first, then God may have entrusted the responsibility for your entire family's conversion to you. How sad if you "join them" rather than "convert them."


Matthew 10:37-39
37 "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38 and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.